House of the Dead
Zero is what i would give this sad excuse for a movie if i could. Holy smokes, was this movie bad or what? I mean, the absolute worst direction I can remember in a film. We see people running through a forest, quick shots of a zombie's face by a tree, more shots of people running, a shot of a video game, a shadow of someone running and then a shot of another zombie by a tree. What the heck is going on? The last zombie movie I saw that was this bad was "The Dead Hate the Living" which was, surprise, written by the same guy, Dave Parker, who has absolutely no business writing films. Just a terrible, terrible writer. I mean, with great lines like "let's face it, we're dealing with zombies here," you'd think the producers would have caught on. And like Parker's last effort, we get references to other zombie films, which when made by awful filmmakers, only makes the film more stupid. One idiot in the movie makes a reference to the Romero zombie trilogy, which has nothing to do with anything, except that apparently the zombies in this movie have seen the Romero films because the only way to kill them is just like the Romero zombies, a shot to the head. Kind of takes away the mystique of the film when you're making references to movies that your movie follows the rules from. Of course, if George Romero ever saw this film, he'd laugh his butt off at how awful it is. And this stupid quick cuts to video games shots. Hey, I don't play video games so I don't know anything about the game this movie is based on, but you want your movie to play to a wide audience, not the select few who are familiar with the video game. It did nothing but remind the viewer they're watching an awful movie. And sadly, Jurgen Prochnow, what happened to your career? This is the guy who is in one of the greatest war films of all time, Das Boot, now playing dumb roles in dumb movies not even worthy of straight-to-video fare. How sad (although the U-boat line did make me laugh). Now will people stop giving Dave Parker work? The only movies this guy should be involved with are the ones at the video store he's the manager of.